On Enough

I’m not smart enough.
I know those watching me
With vindictive eyes
Are judging my wits.

I’ll stumble on something I don’t know
Stuck in an inner maelstrom.
Do I try to figure this out,
Or blame my lack of knowing?

I’m not pretty enough.
My mom told me that.
She believed it,
And it hurt when I believed it

I shy away from woman,
Thinking I’m the beast outside.
But then a compliment.
Am I really ugly?

I’m not rich enough.
I couldn’t buy the next must have.
Wishing I owned more
Wondering the price tag of a new life.

Old Joe’s living paycheck by paycheck
And I’ve got more.
Would it be crazy
To give him a helping hand?

I’m not social enough.
I put on an armor against being vulnerable
And I’m left to my own devices,
But I can’t bare to listen to myself.

Then I wonder why no one will talk to me
Initiate a conversation
Counsel me when I need them the most.
I am alone.

I’m not good enough.
I never was good enough.
This voice inside my head
told me I’m not good enough.

I’m afraid everything given to me
Will be taken away in a heartbeat
And I would’ve wished I could’ve appreciated it
When I still had it.

I’m not available enough.
Family and friends wonder
If I’ll ever make it out.
I wonder too.

I can’t bare to make the time
Because there’s always fires around.
There’s always drama
And there’s just no way I can move things around.

I’m not fit enough.
My belly is too big,
I run out of energy too soon,
And the gym is intimidating.

How could I muster
Bringing myself on the treadmill?
Exercise wasn’t made for me
I’m fat because of genetics.

I’m not happy enough.
All the world is suffering,
So I must also suffer,
Because it’s the proper thing to do.

Satisfaction is for losers
Who don’t know the doom that’s coming.
Woe is me,
Why can’t I just be happy?

I’m not enough.
Given my circumstances,
You can see I’m not enough
You can feel I’m not enough.

I’m told I’m wrong.
How can I believe that
When I can’t feel it inside?
Just believe?

I’m enough

I have enough time
To sit and chat with a dear old friend
Reminiscing about the good old days
And talking optimistically about the future.

I created a space
Where people can come in and out of my life
Whom I can be genuine with
And be amiable.

I am happy enough.
I’ve given myself enough time in the day to meditate,
Joke around with the people I work with,
And I don’t get angry over the little things.

I’ve made peace with God.
There’s a spot for spirituality
And for wholeheartedness
And soft-serve.

I’m content enough with my wisdom.
I know there’s so much I will never understand in the world
And I know there will be those who carve a very selective niche
To study those things.

What matters more is the people
You can share your experiences with
And pass down
From one generation to the next.

I’m rich enough.
In fact, I give back most of what I earned.
Because what’s more important than money or things
Are the experiences we have on this Earth.

I am delighted to have the things in my life
That can draw me closer to those I can’t see everyday.
But I don’t hold on to items like a crutch
Because they are only tools.

I’m healthy enough.
A wise man once said
”What the point of being ultra-healthy
When you can’t even enjoy the time you have here?”

There is no excuse to find time for exercise
When you’ve already incorporated it into your life.
Habits are the foundation
To creating a worry-free life.

I’m pretty enough.
I don’t need to look like a million dollars
And then some
Because I can stare at myself naked in the mirror.

I feel great in this skin
And all of the blemishes it has.
All those blemishes have stories
That I get to share.

I’m enough.
I’ve surrounded my life with family and friends,
Who all encourage me in my endeavors
And make my life rich.

Enough is the baseline
Not a static comfortable point.
We have accepted who we are
And are not afraid to change.

I’ve writing down what I’m grateful for
My life, my health, my family and friends,
The abundance, the emotions, the creativity
And a chance to share it all with the world.

For the newsletter archive, check out Newsletter Series. For this specific series, check out the Newsletter: Season One .

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